by Beth Haley
I am finishing up a class with Justin Michael Williams at DailyOM called Meditations for Manifestation. Today’s lesson was called Toxic People. I’ve stopped being surprised when I run into messages on boundaries anymore. It seems that the flood gates have opened up on this subject for me lately.
There are people in our lives, who truly care about us, support us, and who will voice concern if they think we are in danger, give us deeper wisdom, and offer to hold space for us (pray, send healing energy). They’re the type of people who are in our corner, cheering us on in life, and who love us unconditionally.
However, I think we all know those people, or have those friends and family members who, when we share exciting news or things we are dreaming of doing or are hoping to accomplish, give us negative feedback, rather than support.
Perhaps they tell you everything that could go wrong, or they disagree with everything you hope for, they are jealous or judge you, they constantly play devil’s advocate, or are just an overall downer and drain.
No matter what it is, they seem to find a way to pop your balloon, rain at your wedding, derail your celebration, and dump ice water over your hopes, dreams, and wishes. Maybe they don’t do it constantly, but if they do it enough so as to continually bring you down emotionally, it is a sign of a skeptical friend and toxic person.
Justin gave some great advice in his class about how to share and who to share with. Some people are easy to distance yourself from. With others, that may not be possible, such as with family members. If creating distance isn’t possible, then you create boundaries on how to share and who to share with.
Tell your dreams and goals to people who will respond only with support:
“I only tell my dreams and goals to somebody and people who I think would pray for me. If they would do anything other than pray for me, and I don’t care if they’re religious or not, you get what I’m saying: If they would do anything other than pray for me or give me good wishes, or really wish for my success and abundance, if I have any question in my mind that they would have any other response, then I just don’t tell them.”
-Justin Michael Williams
When sharing with skeptical friends or family members, don’t share your ideas until they are accomplished. Many times when we are stepping into new things, we can be a bit fragile, and we don’t need to face extra discouragement from others.
Creating healthy relationships and boundaries is an essential part of our health and wellbeing. It is just as important as eating healthy, and getting adequate exercise and rest.
I wish you the best in your relationships and in setting healthy boundaries.
Photo Credit: fsHH@ Pixabay